Welcome to Integrity: The Best Foundation, the book and video series designed to help you live and lead with integrity.

Now, in this session, we're going to talk about the Pillar of Honour. Integrity-based honour is a revolutionary concept because it is an honour that is given, not earned. Integrity-inspired honour is anchored in the character of the giver, not in the performance of the recipient. When we deem someone worthy of honour, it feels so appropriate; but it feels so wrong to honour someone who fails to meet our criteria of being worthy of our respect. In our North American culture, we tend to make honour something that's deserved or earned.

In the previous pillar, we considered inward and personal aspects of self-honour and self-worth. And now we're going to talk about the outward manifestation, which is the Pillar of Honour.

Dignity realizes our personal value and responds accordingly. Honour recognizes the value of others and acts graciously. So the foundation of honour rests on the character of the one who gives it, not on the performance or position of the individual who receives it. Most people calculate whether or not honour is deserved.

Long ago, the people of Jesus' hometown refused to think of Him as someone worthy of great honour. After all, he grew up in the village of Nazareth. They knew him as a boy. Therefore, their past opinion influenced how they treated Him. And rather than celebrate a homeboy's growing influence and national reputation, they refused to acknowledge His success. And their miscalculation limited the grace they received from Him; and by withholding honour from him, they robbed themselves.

Now, if you only honour your teacher, boss, parent, spouse or client when you think they deserve it, then, your honour, is judgment-based, not character-based. If your honour is determined by the demand of cultural protocols, it may be offered with pretense and even insincerity.

Integrity requires that you give honour from your character, and not because of someone's position, power, or performance.

Let me give you three quick observations about dishonour: Dishonour tends to destroy; dishonour tends to demotivate; and I think dishonour is more toxic than ridicule.

In our book, we have a comparison chart of honour and respect and how they are similar; and yet, they are not interchangeable terms. And so, let me take you through some of the comparisons that are there in the book:

Respect is achieved. Honour is given. Respect is a reactive thing. Respect rewards the recipient's conduct well. Honour is proactive. It reveals the character of the giver. Respect is judgment or discernment-based. It comes from the head. Well, honour is character based; it comes from the heart. Respect is a reward earned. It's like trust. It's earned. Well, honour is a gift given. It's like love. It's offered. Respect recognizes achievement. Well, honour inspires achievement. Respect is external. It's determinational. Well, honour is internal. It's motivational.

So here's a couple of group questions:

How does giving honour or withholding honour shape a child's self-worth and confidence?

If I honour someone who performs poorly, will my honour reinforce their negative behaviour?

Is it possible to honour someone without approving their actions?

Welcome to Integrity: The Best Foundation, the book and video series designed to help you live and lead with integrity.

Now, in this session, we're going to talk about the Pillar of Honour. Integrity-based honour is a revolutionary concept because it is an honour that is given, not earned. Integrity-inspired honour is anchored in the character of the giver, not in the performance of the recipient. When we deem someone worthy of honour, it feels so appropriate, but it feels so wrong to honour someone who fails to meet our criteria of being worthy of our respect. In our North American culture, we tend to make honour something that's deserved or earned.

In the previous pillar, we considered inward and personal aspects of self-honour and self-worth. And now we're going to talk about the outward manifestation, which is the pillar of honour.

Dignity realizes our personal value and responds accordingly. Honour recognizes the value of others and acts graciously. So, the foundation of honour rests on the character of the one who gives it, not on the performance or position of the individual who receives it.

Most people calculate whether or not honour is deserved. Long ago, the people of Jesus' hometown refused to think of Him as someone worthy of great honour. After all, He grew up in the village of Nazareth. They knew Him as a boy. Therefore, their past opinion influenced how they treated Him. And rather than celebrate a homeboy's growing influence and national reputation, they refused to acknowledge His success. And their miscalculation limited the grace they received from Him; and by withholding honour from Him, they robbed themselves.

Now, if you only honour your teacher, boss, parent, spouse, or client when you think they deserve it, then, your honour, is judgment-based, not character-based. If your honour is determined by the demand of cultural protocols, it may be offered with pretense, and even insincerity. Integrity requires that you give honour from your character, and not because of someone's position, power, or performance.

Let me give you three quick observations about dishonour: Dishonour tends to destroy;dishonour tends to demotivate; and, I think dishonour is more toxic than ridicule.

In our book, we have a comparison chart of honour and respect, and how they are similar; and yet, they are not interchangeable terms. And so, let me take you through some of the comparisons that are there in the book:

Respect is achieved; honour is given. Respect is a reactive thing. Respect rewards the recipients conduct; while honour is proactive; it reveals the character of the giver. Respect is judgment or discernment-based. It comes from the head; while honour is character based; it comes from the heart. Respect is a reward earned. It's like trust; it's earned. While honour is a gift given. It's like love; it's offered. Respect recognizes achievement, while honour inspires achievement. Respect is external. It's determinational, while honour is internal. It's motivational.